#3
I had lunch with two students last weekend: one - the extrovert - was there at his own request for extra help and the other - the introvert - was there because he is only a few blank stares away from failing class. I thought a meal might soften the initial awkwardness of combining two students of such segregated proficiency and personality. It was a wise move.
While our chopsticks were moving from plate to plate of steaming Chinese dumplings, the extrovert mentioned something about, "that country to the east of us."
You mean Japan? I clarified, not understanding his ambiguity.
"Yes, that country," he affirmed.
His second refusal told me what his words didn't.
You know, when you refuse to give a proper name to a person or to a group of people, you are attempting to dehumanize them. Criminals do it all the time to their victims so that they won't have to consider that person another human being.
"Oh, but that's not what I meant," he stammered.
So what did you mean?
"I want to forgive them but they haven't admitted things that they did to us."
So you're waiting for them to make the first move?
"Yes," he replied.
You know, forgiveness is a miraculous act of mercy and grace because it often requires the person who was hurt to make the first move. Is it true forgiveness if you stand on one side of the line saying, "You come to this side and then we'll talk,"? Where's the compassion in that? Sometimes forgiveness has to start with the victim, but it ends up setting both sides free.
His chopsticks were resting on his plate. In fact, both boys had stopped eating. The introvert was silent but unwavering in his attention to the two of us.
The extrovert stared at me for several seconds and then crinkled his eyes a little. "Do you get this power from that book you told me that you read all the time?"
I nodded my head. Yes.
He nodded in an I-suspected-so way and said, "I would like to study it if it gives you that kind of strength. There's a lot about it I don't understand, but I'd like to."
Let me know when you're ready. I have some resources for you.
